god why is my life can go bad to where i want just dont want to live. Seriouly everyone can get a job and i cant. i dont know why im even living. i just dont want to live anymore. i swear. I think i need help because everytime i do something it just make me feel bad. My brother got a job, my mom and dad can get a job. my damn cousin can get a job. but what about me. can i get a job? no becuase i have to face it im a fucking loser. it hit me hard the face but i never believe it. i guess my mom right dreams dont come true. for some people it does. well im glad for them. because my dreams dont come true.

you know i had this long post in my mind but i give up. i give up on my own life. nothing is going to change my mind. seriouly i just want to end my life. this might sound like be sudiced. but that me im a sudiced person. in the words of simple plan song." god must hate me" if he give my life a living hell. Becuase my cousin in the hopstial and be lucky to alive. then my mom is living on one kindey. then my stepdad who a pain the ass.

so far in my life i lost 8 people that i been so closed to. and people seem to know the real me. noone does expect one girl and im glad i know danielle but i dont know. i have nothing else to say. im off to write something to get my mind off and no i wont do what i want in life.

you can try to cheer me up but it wont help. im off.